Sometimes....

Well we have been parents for 5 and ½ weeks. It has been quite a time. It would be impossible to fully describe the first month. It would be impossible to even fully describe a day. So I will just share what happens sometimes…… and how it makes me feel…

Sometimes the kids misbehave, lie, throw fits, scream, slam doors, hit, bite and kick.

Sometimes we punish them and it seems too harsh. Sometimes we punish them and it doesn’t seem like enough to get the point across. Sometimes we don’t punish them and try to teach the Grace of God…

Sometimes I lose my patience. Sometimes I don’t give them that 10^th hug of the day they want cause I am too busy serving lunch. Sometimes instead of using the teachable moments or just playing with them, I am just lazy. Sometimes I feel like I fail.

Sometimes they are so funny. They say the most ridiculous things. They do the most ridculous things. Sometimes they make me laugh so hard.

Sometimes they have questions that I don’t know how to answer. What is the wind, why their mother didn’t come this week, and If I am their mom now. How am I supposed to respond?

Sometimes they tell stories… about their mother not wanting to see them anymore, when the truth is their mother died, and they just don’t understand what that means… Sometimes they tell about their mother saying she isn’t going to come visit, and isn’t going to be their mom anymore, like that is normal. Sometimes they break my heart. Sometimes I cry.

Sometimes I have no clue how to react to the kids or what to do with them. Sometimes I feel lost.

Sometimes, I want to throw a pity party for myself about how hard it is. I want to write home to complain about the hours, the stress, the lack of money, the exhaustion and all the pee I have to deal with. Sometimes I lose my focus, and this becomes a job.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed. I clean something… and in less than an hour it is already dirty again. Sometimes I do more laundry than I knew to be humanly possible. Sometimes I feel like all I really am is a maid. Sometimes I hate it.

Sometimes, I slip away “to hang laundry”, put my headphones in, and find my re-focus. I find my 5 minutes to worship my Father. Sometimes I hide, all by myself, amidst the drying sheets and blankets, and thank Him for His love, mercy, grace, strength, patience, and faithfulness as he parents me. Sometimes I am deeply grateful to get to go hang laundry.

Sometimes I love my boys so much I am not sure I’ll ever be able to leave them.

Sometimes I think that If I can’t find five minutes alone my head is going to explode.

Sometimes I look at them and see the effects of their parents’ poor choices. Sometimes I see their scars, their flat heads… I see how small and short they are. Sometimes I get angry. Angry at “parents” who didn’t/don’t value my treasures. Angry at “parents” that still lie and emotional damage my boys. Angry at “parents” who are selfish and immature.

Sometimes they truly feel like my sons. Sometimes they ask for another hug and kiss good night.. Sometimes they ask me to sleep in their bed with them. Sometimes they yell “Buenas Noches, Papa. Buenas Noches, Mama” and I suddenly don’t want it to be bedtime anymore just so I can spend more time with them.

Sometimes they come running to hug me from across the field. Sometimes they come and hug me, just cause they want to hug me. Sometimes they overwhelm me with their love for me.

Sometimes I am grateful for this opportunity. Grateful to get to love and be loved by these boys. Grateful to teach and learn from these boys. Grateful they’re in my life. Grateful they are my boys.

Always, I am blessed by each and every one of them, by my amazing husband, and by the God I serve.

Prayer Requests:

Jose Luis: Pray for his future and the possibilities of getting a forever family.

Alejandro: He has been throwing a lot of fits lately. Pray for wisdom and patience for Oscar and I as we deal with him, and that his anger will diminish.

Jhon: He can be extremely shy in large groups. He will be starting school this March. Pray for this transition.

Jorge: He can be quite a tattletale, and indian giver. Pray he learns to be a friend.

Pedro and Pablo: Their father is not in a healthy state, and when he visits it causes more pain than joy. Pray for protection.

Juan: Pray for peace in his heart and life as he fights the demons of his past.

Paul: He will possibly be returning home to his mother. Pray God works His will in his life. It has also been a huge struggle for him adjusting to having a male authority in the house.

Edwin: Pray for a forever family for him. He has been waiting so long.

We're going to be PARENTS!!!

That's right! Oscar and I are going to be Mom and Dad....

to 9 little boys at the orphanage Hogar de Esperanza.

(so... no, we're not pregnant and no, we're not adopting.... yet.)

Starting mid November we will take over as live in care-givers for la casita "Los Tesoros de Dios" (the Treasures of God). We are SO EXCITED about this opportunity to Love and guide the boys. This casita has 9 boys all 9 yrs old and under. We will live with the boys 6 days a week, and be responsible for them - education, cleanliness, spiritual growth and emotional needs. The task at hand is quite large, and a bit daunting, but we know that God has a plan and a purpose to work out both in the lives of the boys through us, as well as in us through these boys.

Each of these sweet treasures has his own story... which hopefully further down the road I will become a more faithful blogger and share parts of them with you. But for now enjoy the following pictures of our soon to be kiddos...

Edwin - 9 yrs old

Paul - 8 yrs old

Juan - 8 yrs old (with Oscar)

Jorge - 6 yrs old

Pablo and Pedro - 6 yr old twins

Jhon - 3 yrs old

Alejandro - 3 yrs old

Jose Luis - 3 yrs old

We know this is going to be a challenging (and exhausting) adventure, but we feel confident in God's will leading us here at this time. Prayer will be VERY needed for us over the next few months. Here are a few requests we have:

1. That we would be a light in each of these boys' lives, showing them the Love of God so that they may come to know Him (or know Him better).

2. Strength, Energy, Wisdom and Patience necesary to parent these little boys.

3. For our marriage as we face the new challenges parenting in the albergue will present - lack of privacy and liberty, added responsibility... and the ever present cultural differences.

4. For each one of these boys as they adjust to this new transition. They've been with the same madre for 4 years, so this will be a big change. And for the salvation of each and every one of them.

We are so grateful for your support and prayer during this time.

Oscar y Samantha Alday

Updates from the Aldays

It has been a LONG time since I have blogged. Years
actually.

I will make no promise to improve on this… but I have some
information to share, and this seemed the most effective way to do so….

First the basics:

Oscar and I are well. After the honeymoon travelling we
spent time in Chiclayo with Oscar’s family. We’ve also spent time in the orphanage.
We helped plan their 10^th anniversary celebration. Now we are back
in Chiclayo until the end the month. Then we are going to the JUNGLE! with a
few of the volunteers from the orphanage. (3 years later and I finally get to
go to the jungle!)

Oscar, Heydi, Marita and I after going out to church and lunch together on Sunday at the albergue.

Now the real reason for the blog:

The Visa. As many of you know our plan was to have a
religious wedding ceremony in Peru and then return to the states together with
a fiancé visa and have our legal ceremony.

That is not what is going to happen. The story of why’s and
how’s are long and difficult. So for now. On this blog. We’ll leave it at that.
The plan is cancelled. Someday we’ll get together for coffee and I’ll tell you
the whole story. But not today. Not here.

Oscar and I will be attempting to get a temporary husband’s
visa for him soon. But the ugly truth is we haven’t been able to start the
process yet, and once we start it, it will still take 6 months. There are lots
of hoops we have to jump through before we can start the process… So Oscar and
I won’t be in the US until June 2012… at the earliest… and that is probably being
optimistic.

This reality has not been the easiest for me to accept. I
wanted a wedding that I got to plan and pick things for. I wanted you all to
meet my husband. But I walk in faith knowing God has a plan I don’t yet
understand. If we are in Peru for now it is because He has something to accomplish
in and through us here. (More on that in the next blog – I will promise you one
more… but just one. And it is more exciting than this one!)

Anna in Peru

My sister, Anna, came back to Peru with me when I returned. It was so much fun to have her here for a week. I have to be honest and say, I was a little nervous, we tend to argue like sisters a lot, but we had a wonderful week without a single fight.

She tried lots of new foods - which I am very proud of her for.

We took a day trip with my friends and the volunteers to a town about 2 hours north of Trujillo called Pacasmayo. It was a blast. One of the most pure fun days I've had here. We played on the bus. Walked along the longest pier ever, that was anything but solid ground. (The boards were so weird and spaced out ... it was like an optical illusion to walk along. Everyone thought they'ed loose their flip flops, but no one would take them off because stepping in fish guts isn't that appealing either. Luckily there were no foot issues... yet...) We swam in the Pacific Ocean. (Anna's first time.) Then they played football on the beach. Then Nikki's toe and Walter's toenail collided... Then we went to the hospital and got Nikki three stitches in the bottom of her toe. Which may sound like a bad part of the day, and granted I wasn't the one in pain, but it still managed to be fun. Nikki's reaction to pain it so laugh. She was sitting on the examining table laughing. And she may be the only person I know who can eat cake while getting stitches done. (That was my third taking time someone to the hospital... all three times have been adventures, but this was definitely the best time - I will spare you the details and simply say that no one else but the current patient's blood was involved - so it was pretty good.) After the hospital we went to dinner. We had a big family mean where every one ate all they wanted off a plate and then passes to the next person. It was delicious. Then we jumped on a bus and headed back to Trujillo. We lucked out and found a mini micro (small bus) that was finishing up for the day... they brought all 9 of us all the way back to Salaverry for a great price - while blasting our favorite cumbia music and flashing the very cool blue interior lights - our very own rolling party mobile.

I am so glad my sister got to come down and meet my friends and family, enjoy the delicious food, have fun and see why I love it so much here. I think instead of asking me when I am coming home again she may start asking when she can come back to Peru again.

Back Home

I will be the first to admit this particular short coming of mine - I have been a terribly lame blogger - it is true. I know it. I had this whole theory about people, relationships and experiences being more important than my computer... and then a dear friend reminded me that it wasn't just my computer - it was my friends and family back home waiting on news... former volunteers and people associated with the albergue.... and others that had a genuine interest in my life in Peru and the things happening at Hogar de Esperanza that I was choosing to ignore when I made no time to update my blog. Valid point, and with that in mind I will try to do better. So here I am - it is sunny Saturday afternoon blogging time.

I originally came down to my Hogar for August 2008 - April 2009... but lets get serious. This place is too beautiful, the children are too wonderful, the workers are too fantastic, the volunteers are too amazing, and the experiences are too fabulous to leave after such a short time. I have been able to extend my time serving here in Hogar de Esperanza until next March (2010).

I came home to Virginia for a 3 week visit in April. It was a wonderful time of reconnecting with friends, visiting with family, worshiping the Lord in English, and eating a lot of mexican food.

I got to have sleep overs with old friends... and shop with my sister... and eat meals with lots of people who love me... it was a wonderful time.

The three weeks felt like a short time to get to spend with loved ones, but like an eternity to be away from the albergue. Things in the Albergue change so much, every day... nothing is ever the same. While I was gone children left, new workers came, and volunteers came and went. Sarah and Nikki, two of the long term volunteers filled in for me while I was away. I am so grateful to them for all of their efforts while I was at home relaxing. I took them out to dinner as a thanks, but I feels that falls quite short in repaying them for all the extra things they had to do while I was away. They are both quite remarkable women. I am very grateful for them.

I am also grateful to be back. It was sweet to be back in the land I am from, but there is some thing about being in Peru is just perfect for me... so for now, I am quite happy to be Back Home.

It Has Been Too Long

The end of September and all of October… in one blog. Forgive my lameness for letting two months go by without a blog…
The kids had a week off of school the last week of September. Lindsey and I decided to do something special for them. We did a game day on Thursday. Three legged race, wheelbarrow races, tug-o-war… We had a prize (cookies) for the winners. It was close all the way, but in the end the boys won. The girls wouldn’t speak to us for about 2 hours because we didn’t give them cookies too. It was still fun.
Friday night we had a fiesta for all the girls. We played cranium, ate snacks, sang songs, did facials, and laughed… a lot.
Saturday morning Lindsey and I got up at 5 in the morning and made about 65 pancakes for the boys (and the madres, workers, and ourselves). Even though it was an early wakeup call, it was a blast. The boys really enjoyed the special treat.
Sarita and Hugo have been the parents of one of the casitas for about six years. Sarita left the orphanage this month. Lindsey and I took some “family portraits” for them before they left.
They had a going away party before they left, and they invited us to come. Lindsey and I both had a TON of fun wrestling with the kids, singing songs in spanish, eating yummy food and cake, playing games, and watching Iron Man.
That Sunday Lindsey, Laura and I took Maria out to celebrate her birthday. We let her pick a friend to bring, Yamelit. We went to church, the mall, ate lunch, played in “Happy Land”, saw a movie, then walked around town.
The albergue (orphanage) started a new behavior program. The kids work all month to earn points, and then at the end of the month they get a big reward. For the first reward we all went to the zoo. It was a tiny little zoo but the kids loved seeing all the animals.
That Sunday Lindsey and I took Josué, Abraham, Samir out with us for the day. We went to church, and then ran into Laura and Angela at Wong (the fancy grocery store here). They were out with two of the other boys. Samir decided he would go with them to the park. Lindsey, Josué, Abraham and I ended up walking around town for hours. We ran into one of the soccer player from the national Peru team, but Josué was too scared to ask for his picture. We went to the mall and played hide and go seek. Then we watched the longest parade ever. Ok. Maybe not, but it was really long. It was the International Spring Parade, which is supposed to be a really big deal. I decided I am not a parade person, but the boys were glued to it. They loved it. Lindsey and I had a good time being silly and posing for pictures. (One of the high school boys in one of the bands marching in the parade decided he wanted a picture of the two Americans watching the parade. We smiled nicely as he marched by with his camera phone. ) After the parade, we took the boys to grab some dinner and head home. All in all we were out with them for 12 hours, but it was a fantastic day. I love spending time with both of them.
The Wednesday the 8th of October was a holiday here in Peru. (It celebrated some famous sailor who died in battle with Colombia in the 1600’s or something like that.) The whole albergue – kids, volunteers, workers and their families, everyone – went on a paseo (field trip) to Simbal. I got to drive a 2 seater truck with all the maintenance man’s family… and all the food in the back. It was thrilling. We drove like an hour through the foothills of the Andes. It was so beautiful! The albergue is located in a big pile of sand. There aren’t many trees. It is all just brown. Brown everywhere. It was so refreshing to see the green trees, blue sky, and mountain skyline.
We played a bunch of games and hung out having a good time. It was so enjoyable to see all the workers here in a different environment and with their families. (I saw a scorpion, got about 34 bug bitses, and Angela got bitten by an unidentified insect that cause her foot to swell up to the size of a football for a week. It was definitely an adventure.)
Then we all went swimming! This place was not very clean. The bathrooms were… well let’s just say most the people chose to change clothes in the woods because it was more appealing than the bathroom. The water was unchlorinated. And brown. Yeah. But it was unbelievably fun. Everyone was sufficiently exhausted when we made it home. It was a great holiday, whatever it was celebrating.
There are currently five long term volunteers here right now. We have had a lot of fun times here. We spent a day in Huanchaco hanging out for Page's going away “party”. We also play a lot of games of spoons in our favorite chicken restaurant in Salaverry. Sometimes we all end up in the kitchen making whatever food we are missing the most that week (pancakes in the pictures).
We started a new program for Saturday mornings. The volunteers are taking the kids who do not get visits from their family on Saturday mornings out for a fun time. We took them to the beach (aka crossed the road). They chased crabs and let the water chase them as the waves came crashing in. It was fun until they ran out into the road on the way home. The next week we took them to a park. They had good time swinging, sliding, jump roping, drawing with sidewalk chalk, and throwing the football.
At the end of the month we took the kids from the school on campus and the kinder class to the beach. I am not sure how educational it was, but it was a blast. I took my first swim in the Pacific Ocean… in winter… in all my clothes.
Halloween came and went without too much excitement, but one of the volunteers did find a pumpkin at the mall. She brought it home and we (the kids who were up late in the kitchen) carved it. It was fun because that isn’t a time we normally get to hangout with the kids. I have found I love the unexpected moments of having fun with the kids more than when I try to plan a special time with them.
That was my October. It was full of fun and laughter, trips with kids and chill times with my teammates. It was perfect.