Here is a little
update on life here… ok… it is really just a rambling entry of things happening
here and feelings I am having…
Monday we packed up
everything and literally threw it into our apartment.
I have been trying my
absolute hardest to stay in bed, but… bed rest in a complete disaster of an
apartment, with no internet connection, on an air mattress = pretty LAME. But…
every time I want to whine… I just kinda laugh… cause… well this is so
ridiculous, and yet so full of the Grace of God. What do I really have to
complain about?
We’ve started getting
a few things put together and unpacked… a little…
On Saturday, we finally got the hot water hooked up to the shower :)
Oscar traveled to
Chiclayo and we finally got our furniture Sunday morning (after literally a
week of only having an air mattress to sit on. Yikes) (and the movers, who were
supposed to be there at 4 on Saturday afternoon, came at 6:30 in the morning
Sunday :)
We’ve bought a fridge.
Yay for cold drinks!
I have put together
most of a 750 piece puzzle of Stonehenge.
I have not only
watched a lot of movies, but I have also alphabetized my DVD’s.
I have decided that
season 3 of The Office is my favorite season.
Oscar took me to get a
pedicure. He is the best. (He literally has not stopped working or moving hardly at all. He is amazing in so many ways, and my gratitude for him in my life has multiplied in the last week.)
I found one of Edwin’s
bottle caps in my back pocket, and cried for 20 minutes. I also cried for 20
minutes the night Oscar left for Chiclayo… so… I am crying a lot.
It has felt really
strange to go from constantly being needed, always having people around, there
being constant noise to now being alone most of the time… and laying in bed
being what I need to do… and so much quiet. I have a movie or music going
constantly, cause the quiet just feels wrong.
I have had some visits
from friend here – bringing me starbucks and magazines, or pizza and gifts, or
loaning me things we need and don’t have yet. It has been a blessing and
encouragement.
The volunteers have
told me things in the Tesoros house are rolling along just fine and that they’re
all adjusting well to the changes. They said Edwin has opened up even more, and
what used to be overwhelmingly focused affection on Oscar and I has now become
affection for anyone who will accept it. That makes my heart happy…
I can honestly say
that I have peace… there are moments when I am not sure how we’re going to pay
for things (hence why we don’t have internet yet)… and moments when I still
worry about things in the orphanage – the volunteers, the big decisions, and my
babies… But most of this week has been
full of peace. Knowing God is in
control.
And when the worries
creep in (especially about the kids) I remind myself “This isn’t a tragedy in their
life. Their tragedies are being completely abandoned by their families,
watching their mother die, being beaten and abused… Oscar and I leaving them
isn’t going to scar them for life. They have survived and been protected through
things a million times worse than the padres that lived with them for less than
year leaving. … But me worrying or making wrong decisions could be the tragedy
in my daughter’s life. She isn’t ready to be born yet, and me choosing not to
Trust God and accept His peace to keep me calm… me choosing to do more than I
should, could cause damage to her that could scar her forever.” Then I leave
whatever box I want to unpack or pile I want to get put away and go lay back
down, even when it feels wrong for the right thing to be doing to be laying
around doing nothing.
Thank you to all of
you who have messages, emailed, written on my wall. Forgive me if it takes me a
while to respond. Until we get internet set up at our place, I probably won’t
get a chance to respond. I am grateful and encouraged by the love, support, and
prayers of all of you.
This song came on my
Itunes the other day… it is perfect:
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